Hearts as Shelters

You use hearts as shelters 

You leave them burned and broken in your wake

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East Lake Sketches

I went camping last week at East Lake, Oregon for a few days, and drew a couple of things, including my various family members. Being able to relax and not worry about DUMB ADULT THINGS was great, and I was actually able to do some writing as well as drawing, and I read almost the entirety of the book The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls. It’s great to be able to get some reading done! A good writer also has to be a good reader! And Jeannette has kinda motivated me to want to be more gung-ho about my living situation, but at the same time she’s made me feel like a crappy whiny baby for letting depression dominate my whole life, instead of being a kickass person who can actually fix things for themselves. Ack. 

As soon as I was back home, the motivation to create disappeared almost instantaneously, and I reverted back to my videogame escapism. Proof that this apartment is a bubble of soul sucking negativity, and its not just me. Only now am I motivated enough to even update my blog by just posting pictures. But yay, I’ll take what I can get. 

Poison Brewers

All it takes
a single drop

a word
a look
a laugh
Poison

to rot out a pure heart.
tiny things
Subtle
enough to turn a person
sour
bitter
resentful.

The world is tainted
Poisoned
and ruled by evil.
goodness
and decency
shamed away
into dark corners
to suffer in helplessness
and loneliness.

Why
are humans
such terrible creatures
to poison each other
in such a pointless way?

Even acts of valor
a kindness
a favor
saving a life
clapped at, then forgotten
“last weeks news”
or all looked down upon
shamed for bothering
thank you’s are ignored
holding doors for others is strange
Poison taints the meaning
destroys the purpose.
What is the point
of being nice,
when it is only ridiculed?
If it doesn’t fix the world?
One thankful heart
versus ten that hate you.

Poison creates more poison brewers.
Only few survive
the process of
that drop of malice
to live outside evil
and even those
are forever cursed
with the bitterness
and loneliness
of a long human life.

Do you not see
you are destroying the world?

People Doodles #5

Went to a BBQ for the Fourth of July that had a whole bunch of people attending. Met some new people who probably won’t bother remembering my name, hah. 

When I was doodling, people would avoid looking at me. For some reason drawing at a public event is weird or something. People don’t like it. They pretend it’s not happening and ignore you if you do that, but they’ll glance at you sideways with that look that says “someone is being weird”. But some people ignored what I was doing while still chatting with me. By contrast if I were doodling ALONE in the park (not part of a group) or at a coffee shop or somewhere, people will approach me and ask me about my drawings and drawing aspirations. Or just smile pleasantly with silent approval. It’s a strange dynamic going on here. 

It’s also funny that people think other people don’t see when they give them the “that’s a weirdo” look and act nonchalant like they didn’t even notice you’re a weirdo. Like, just because I’m weird doesn’t mean I am blind to facial expressions hahah. But I guess they just can’t help it. 

Headdress

I’m feeling really artistically inspired today and sketched this out. I really want to make it something bigger and legit. Use glitter and feathers and fabric and maybe shiny ink and just make a whole crazy art project out of it! Just need the materials! 

It was inspired by someones picture at a museum on Instagram of some Brazilian culture headdress statues!

Comic #2: Moe Skeeto


Went through old pictures and found this one from my Creating Short Comics class that I never posted!! I just realized I only posted one other comic from this class…I should really try and find them so I can share them.

Anyway, this was my favorite creation from that class a year ago…Moe Skeeto. 

For the assignment, we were each handed a random Garbage Pail Kid card and told to make a comic out of it. I got Moe Skeeto. It’s funny, most everyone’s in that class turned out really grotesque or horrifying…just as GPK would want, I think…

Lifey Bit #7: Fuck you, I Love you

<Previous Lifey Bit>

I was sitting in my apartment, playing Skyrim, when I was shocked by a woman screaming from outside.

It is not particularly strange to hear the insane screeching of a madwoman in the great and weird city of Portland. I went to the balcony, to investigate, make sure it was nothing serious. I heard her scream, “let me out!” repeatedly; I was worried. The sky was still a dark blue with the near-gone sunlight of the late afternoon. There were hardly any cars on the street, just a bus stopped at the crosswalk. The screeching was clear and loud, as if it was right in front of me, but I saw no one screaming. Only a couple of my neighbors standing on the sidewalk all staring off in the same direction, wondering if it was serious or just some random craziness (99% of the time it’s the latter); one guy had his phone ready in his hand.

Then I saw the woman appear from behind the bus and quickly make her way across the street. She seemed young. She was white and had long black hair and wore a pink sweater. She shrieked, bloodcurdlingly loud, like a banshee, projected across the parking lot and street as clear as day. But she wasn’t running, nor were there any other people near her, or cars, no apparent dangers. The first assumption is drugs, but who knows. In between incoherence, a shrieked “fuck you!” and “I need you!” and “I love you!” pierced the air. It was haunting…creepy, it didn’t quite echo but felt as if the sound came from everywhere. It was also curious. How could someone scream ‘fuck you’ and ‘I love you’ in one motion? Thinking of the possibility she wasn’t on drugs, made it sad…but also even more creepy. I like to imagine the circumstances behind anyone stringing these words together in terrifying shrieks in near-public. If I were closer, would I have been able to see that she was crying?

The neighbors dispersed once they began hearing the ‘fuck you, I love yous’. Curse words immediately quell the sense of emergency of a scream in the city. But I was a bit entranced. It’s not often one gets to freely hear a woman’s shrieks echoing ominously throughout the silent night world, like an angered wraith in a cemetery…not without being able to just listen to it anyway (rather than making for the 911 buttons and bolting out the door to the rescue).

The enchantment was broken when a man yelled “Hey! Shut the fuck up!”